Suze Smackdown: Suze vs Jessica Lightning Girl
by Cerasi J
Summary: Jenny Carroll's two best heroines face off in the ultimate showdown.


****

Title: Suze Smackdown: Suze vs. Jessica "Lightning Girl" Mastriani

****

Author: Cerasi J.

****

Rating: PG-13

****

Summary: Jenny Carroll's two best heroines face off in the ultimate showdown.

****

Disclaimer: ::snorts:: Oh please, as if you people haven't figured it out by now…

****

Author's Note: I would like to say thank you to my lovely reviewer Heather, who gave me this idea. Thanks! =) Oh yeah, and if anyone is wondering, Ewan McGregor played in _Star Wars_ as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Robert Patrick plays John Doggett in _The X-Files, _Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond are from _Celebrity Deathmatch._

----

****

Suze Smackdown: Where our favorite Mediator whoops ass.

Suze vs. Jessica the Lightning Girl

----

****

Cerasi J.: "Hey everyone! Welcome back to another round of _Suze Smackdown! _The only sport that's more violent than a profession hockey game! Let's say hi to our co-hosts! Everyone say hi to Brittany!"

*Cerasi J. points to a girl sitting beside her*

****

Brittany: *Smiles, waves* "Hey!"

****

Cerasi J.: "Good to see 'ya, Britt, let's meet the other co-hosts!"

*Cerasi J. points to Lauren, Beth, Jesse and a newcomer… Jessica Mastriani's biker hunk, Rob.*

****

Cerasi J./Lauren/Beth/Brittany: *Sigh*

****

Rob: *Looking unimpressed* "Hey."

****

Lauren: *Tears her eyes away from Rob* "Lets get down to business and meet our contestants!"

*Cerasi, Beth and Brittany continue staring at Rob.*

****

Jesse: "Oh, for the love of God…"

****

Lauren: "A-HEM!!"

****

All three girls: "Huh? What?"

****

Suze: (From the ring) "Oh man, here we go again."

****

Cerasi J.: *Snapping back to attention* "Oh, um, yeah, okay… in the right corner we have the World Champion… SUUUUZZZZEEE SIMOOOONNNNN!!!!"

Jessica: (Ignores Cerasi; from other side of the ring) "Hey! What gives!? Why are they looking at _OUR_ boyfriends? I thought that girl Brittany had a thing for Ewan McGregor!"

****

Suze: "Hey, yeah! And Cerasi has a thing for Robert Patrick!"

****

Cerasi J.: *Gulps, slumps down in seat*

****

Lauren/Brittany: "_Robert Patrick?"_

****

Cerasi J.: "Hey, he looks good in jeans, what can I say?"

*All four girls look at Rob and sigh again.*

****

Jessica: *Turns to Suze* "Okay, you know what? I'm tired of them looking at my boyfriend."

****

Suze: "Agreed."

*Suze and Jessica storm up to the commentor's box, and yank all the girls down into the ring.*

****

Brittany: "Hey! What'd I do?!"

****

Cerasi J.: "Dammit, everytime I do one of these, I wind up getting the crap kicked out of me…"

*Jesse and Rob look at each other and scramble into the chairs Cerasi and Brittany just vacated.*

****

Rob: "Good afternoon sports fans! I'm Johnny Gomez."

****

Jesse: "And I'm Nick Diamond."

****

Rob: "Looks like it's gonna be an all-out Chick Fight."

****

Jesse: *Grabs popcorn*

****

Rob: "In the right corner we have Suze Simon and Jessica Mastriani!"

*Camera pans to right corner of the ring, to see Jess and Suze huddled together, mapping out their battle plans.*

*Cheering*

****

Jesse: "And in the left corner, we have…" *Looks at cue cards* "… Cerasi J., Brittany, Lauren and Beth."

*Camera pans to left corner of the ring, to see Cerasi J., Lauren and Brittany planning something evil. Beth is staring up at the commentor's box.*

****

Beth: "I LOVE YOU JESSE!!!"

*Rob and Jesse look at each other, shrug.*

****

Jesse: "Let's get it on!"

*Bell dings. Jess and Suze turn to the four girls and glare at them.*

****

Suze: *Points at Beth* "Jesse's _MY_ boyfriend, you *bleep*!"

****

Crowd: "Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh…"

****

Cerasi J.: "Okay, Simon, you're goin' down!"

*Cerasi lunges at Suze and they roll around on the floor of the ring*

****

Beth: "Nobody calls me a *bleep*!" 

*Beth also lunges at Suze. Dust flies.*

****

Jessica: *Shrugs* "YAAAAHHHH!!!" 

*Jessica runs at Brittany and Lauren*

****

Rob: "Whoa! Lauren'll be feeling that one in the morning!"

****

Voice: "I'm sure she will."

*Rob and Jesse look over to see Gina sitting between them.*

****

Rob/Jesse: *Drool*

****

Gina: "Ooh! Poor Suze!"

*All three watch as Cerasi J. lands a right hook to Suze's stomach.*

****

Jesse: "Yeah, that's nice…" *Puts his arm around Gina* "Doin' anything Friday night?"

****

Rob: "What about Saturday?"

*Back in the ring, Brittany and Lauren seem to have fought Jessica into one corner of the ring.*

****

Brittany: *Pant, pant* "Take that!"

****

Lauren: "Nobody screws with the Union."

*Lauren and Brittany high five*

*On the other side of the ring, Suze seems to have pinned both Beth and Cerasi, and is now pummeling them.*

****

Brittany: "This is all your fault, Mindy!"

****

Cerasi J.: "OW!! How do you figure?!"

****

Brittany: "Well, you're the one writing this fic!"

****

Cerasi J.: "Oh."

*Up in the commentor's box, Jesse and Rob are now both dying for Gina's attention.*

****

Rob: "Go out with me!"

****

Jesse: "No, me!"

****

Rob: "ME!"

****

Jesse: "NO! ME!"

****

Rob: "Meeeeeee!!!!" *Pouts like a small child*

****

Gina: "Oh, for the love of all that's purple and furry, I'll go out with both of you!"

****

Rob: *Stops* "Oh, well, that takes the term doubledate to a whole new level, doesn't it?"

****

Gina: *Giggles*

*Rob, Gina and Jesse all stand up to leave.*

*Jessica just happens to look up at the ring.*

****

Jessica: "HEY!!!"

*Suze looks up, gapes.*

****

Suze: "HEY!!!"

****

Cerasi J./Lauren/Beth/Brittany: "HEY!!!"

****

Gina: "Uh oh."

*Gina, Jesse, and Rob make a run for it. Cerasi, Lauren, Beth, Brittany, Suze and Jess all give chase.*

In our next episode of _Suze Smackdown_: Will Suze and Jess finally catch up with Gina? Will Jesse fall madly in love with Cerasi and run away with her? We may never know…


End file.
